I think this "extra" is aimed at the Welsh

The Old Testament is generally more entertaining than the New
there are a few events where the main protaganist "God" gets angry and knocks over a wall which kills 27,000 people

Bit harsh I thought - But Entertaining

But When we get to the New Testament this book takes a sudden change and plot. The new approach is to make the Book even more boring than before and to just have 10 identical chapters talking about "Jesus" - The new main protagonist who is the son of the old one "God"

Less entertaining things happen such as not taking into account the need of food at a big Jesus seminar and then Jesus finding some fish to feed them and save the day. And something about him entering an anorexic stage and walking on water. I would skip this part.

I think A better name for this would have been
"Testament Re-spawned- The Second Coming - New Generation"
But The "New Testament" was somehow chosen instead

With a combined 72 authors working on this book I was expecting alot more for my £20. It's simply full of incorrectly organised sentances, made-up words and boring events

Also, when I found out half of this book (the new bit) can be found for free in hotels inside drawers made me very angry
I feel like I've been conned

Anyway - I turned the leather into a decent wallet for Father's day so All was not a loss.

Overall rating - 1/5

But not in a blashpemous/sac-religous way.


Religous Tolerance

"I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said 'stop! don't do it!'
'Why shouldn't I?' he said.
I said, 'Well, there's so much to live for!'
He said, 'Like what?'
I said, 'Well...are you religious or atheist?'
He said, 'Religious.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?'
He said, 'Christian.'
I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?"
He said, 'Protestant.' I said, 'Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?'
He said, 'Baptist!'
I said, 'Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?'
He said, 'Baptist church of god!'
I said, 'Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?'
He said, 'Reformed baptist church of god!'
I said, 'Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?'
He said, 'Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!'
I said, 'Die, heretic scum', and pushed him off."

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's buttocks with us."

Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss his buttocks?"

John: "If you kiss Hank's buttocks, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't he'll beat you up real bad."

Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever he wants, and what he wants is to give you a million dollars, and he can't until you kiss his buttocks."

Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the buttocks?"

Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John: "Then come kiss Hank's buttocks with us."

Me: "Do you kiss Hank's buttocks often?"

Mary: "Oh, yes, all the time..."

Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"

John: "Well no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and he beats you up."

Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's buttocks, left town, and got the million dollars?"

John: "My mother kissed Hank's buttocks for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"

John: "Of course not; Hank doesn't allow it."

Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

Mary: "Well, he give you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar bill on the street."

Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"

John: "Hank has certain connections."

Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

John: "But it's a million dollars. Can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's buttocks he'll beat you up real bad."

Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from him..."

Mary: "No one sees Hank; no one talks to Hank."

Me: "Then how do you kiss his buttocks?"

John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his buttocks. Other times we kiss Karl's buttocks, and he passes it on."

Me: "Who's Karl?"

Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's buttocks. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss his buttocks, and that Hank would reward you?"

John: "Oh, no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on "From the desk of Karl" letterhead. There were eleven items listed:

1. Kiss Hank's buttocks and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Beat up people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't drink.
10. Eat your weiners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's buttocks, or he'll beat you up real bad.

Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."

Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."

John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."

Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"

Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."

Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist beats up people just because they're different?"

Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."

Me: "How do you figure that?"

Mary: "Item 7 says, 'Everything Hank says is right'. That's good enough for me!"

Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."

John: "No way! Item 5 says, 'Hank dictated this list himself'. Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation', item 4 says,'Eat right', and item 8 says, 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom'. Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."

Me: "But 9 says,'Don't drink', which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says,'The moon is made of green cheese', which is just plain wrong."

John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon so you can't say for sure."

Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."

Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."

Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon came from the Earth has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from, doesn't make it cheese."

John: "Aha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"

Me: "We do?"

Mary: "Of course we do, item 5 says so."

Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying Hank's right because he says he's right."

John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."

Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary blushes.

John: "Wieners in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."

Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"

John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."

Me: "No relish? No mustard?"

Mary looks positively stricken.

John shouts: "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"

Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"

Mary sticks her fingers in her ears: "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."

John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."

Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary faints. John catches her:"Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank beats you up I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's buttocks for you, you cretinous, idle, sin-loving aliens!"

With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!!"