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COMPUTERS MAKE ME ANGRY
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THE UN

The UN
The Wonderful, Powerless UN -
The Stupid, Ignorant, Clueless UN -

Here is an example of their reasoning over "controlling" the entire contents of the internet

The United Nations would be a good platform for controlling the internet, because it has legitimacy. The countries are all represented,"

said Izzeldin Mohamed Osman, a computer science professor from the Sudan University of Science and Technology

Right... The UN has legitimacy because countries like Sudan are represented, eh? They practice slavery there for fucks sake.
Do they have computers and internet access in Sudan?
ITS A FUCKING DESERT

They also follow Sharia Islamic Law.
Meaning They Are Terrorists
Well no - But They blatantly are 

Sorry but -  the UN gets no legitimacy whatsoever because countries like Sudan have no legitimacy whatsoever with the Human Race. They are living in the past and invloving them in something like the Internet

( Le Intra-what? - As they will say, closey followed by
THAT BOX IS ALIVE! - ALIVE!
ALLAH HAS RETURNED TO PUNISH THE SINFUL IN THE FORM OF AN ALIVE BOX! ) 

is stupid. ( you've forgoten how that sentance stated haven't you? )

Basically - Leave the Internet alone
It's ours - The People's - Not Your's - Bloody UN
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PEOPLE WITH CLIPBOARDS

OK. So you've either seen them haven't you? They are like a damn plague.  People in the street who appear out of nowhere infront of you and want you to answer "just a few questions"

On one road in every town or city on weekends, there are hundreds of strategically and cunningly placed hippy students wearing matching waterproof coats and clipboards representing these various charities. It's like playing UT trying to "strafe" in and out of the stuck-up rich kids trying to look poor and pretending that what they are doing has a strong influence on the world.

So then your nightmare happens. You get caught by one. First thing they say - "Hello there mate" WHAT! YOU AREN'T MY FUCKING MATE YOU COKE SNORTING WHORE.

Then they ask if you would like to pledge £2 to save the native sparrow or help old people who are dying or to help buy more tissues for the dribbly ones in wheelchairs. Try to escape but you can't! They have some traction device and keep you rooted to the spot as everyone else walks by, glad this freak is tied up with you and whispering "sucker" under their breath folowed by laughter. Only to get caught themselves. Ha.

The people who do this though? A thousand piercings (check), Woolly Hat? Smell of cannabis (Check)

These people are students but how many normal student would be willing to do this? They must all be Christians too due to the fact that they all have crucifix's round their necks and the fact they can appear so happy when they should really be comtemplating suicide.

The cure? - Tell them to fuck off - This clear and simple message will have them retreat to 10 yards.

Rant Away. Or, if anyone comes up to you with a clipboard again, just curl up in a ball and cry.

ISP's

ISP's piss me off.
NO really - They make me irate sometimes.
When you sign up its like - Oh sir, please let me wipe you arse with this soft soft paper. Oh, look at these amazing offers at amazing prices! Oh do sign up sir, or the orphans will go hungry.
Then once they have you commited on a 12 month contract paying £15-£30 a month- they stop giving a crap

Hello - Help Desk
" Ah yes - hello. My connections down - Why?"
It could be for many reasons
(pause)
"Like?"
Well.... are all the wires plugged in
"Well, obviously, I didn't phone this damn £1.50 a minute help line without checking that - And their cables!"
Hmmmmm
(pause)
"Hmmm what? (angry now)
There are many reasons why this could have happened
"Like what? - How do I fix it?"
(pause)
I'm sorry I have another call
HOLD

And then you listen to crappy 60's music until you get pissed off, hang up and go upstairs and slit your wrists in frustration

Films are bad for society?

What utter crap
Of course films aren't
You watch some slasher 18 rated film where a mad man cuts up innocent teenagers - You laugh and revel in the horror. You do not suddenley say - hey - lets go do that next week and slice up a young boy for witchcraft/for general entertainment.

The same goes for games. Violence in games does not promote real violence in real life. Only complete retards ( i.e. Americans ) do that crap, and only an insanely small majority.

Only complete, utter retards could possibly be copycats
( see article opposite )

VIOLENCE KICKS ASS

Infact, sometimes I think there isn't enough violence on TV. We need shows where people just drive around killing people. We don't want to grow up a nation of scared feeble beings now, do we? 


I may be angry but I'm damn skillfull


 
   
 

NO PIES WERE RAGGED FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES - PROMISE